Fam, you were totally meant to get this post a whole entire week ago. But fate intervened when I finally decided to give ACOTAR a try last week and then ended up reading all five books in five days. I literally did not sleep or eat or really think about anything else during that time, so. #sorrynotsorry but please enjoy some thoughts I was having a whole week ago lmao

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Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday.

I think it surprises people that of all days, THIS is my favorite holiday (and has been since I was a kid), when I didn’t have a significant other or even a situationship to celebrate until I was 21. Like, hello? Can you say delusional?

I love talking about this – maybe a little TOO much. I realized a few years ago after going through my Instagram that I’ve posted a version of the rant I am about to make THREE separate times over a span of seven years. What can I say?? I really do love this day.

The rant is essentially this: I’ve noticed that Valentine’s Day conjures up a very specific image for most people. Of course, that image varies, but it usually involves some tacky mix of romantic love and a whole lot of capitalism. Cartoon-themed valentine card packs and treats, heart-shaped chocolate boxes, teddy bears, and tacky jewelry seem to be everywhere you look as soon as January rolls around. And hey, I get it – it’s easy to hate that. It’s easy to take issue with the fact that in our culture, spending grand amounts of time or money on one random day in February is supposed to symbolize the size of your feelings for someone. It’s also very easy, and totally reasonable, to carry a lot of resentment toward a day that reminds you of something you don’t have – and wish you did. So what’s to like about February 14 if your experiences fall outside of cultural norms?

Put very simply, I love Valentine’s Day because it’s always been framed in a very different way for me. I love it because my parents have always made a conscious choice to show me love on this day. Every Valentine’s Day, they wrote me and each of my siblings a special card detailing specific reasons that they loved and appreciated me. The card was always laid out on the kitchen counter when I came downstairs, along with some other small token – sometimes a rose, sometimes a box of conversation hearts, sometimes a balloon. My sisters and I each read our cards, hugged our parents, then put on our special red, pink, and white outfits and went to school. My mom packed us special lunches that had all pink food in them and we’d sometimes make fun heart shaped desserts later that day. In short – while I am very familiar with all the typical Valentine’s procedures, in practice I’ve lived this day very differently.

Don’t get me wrong. We still bought Valentine’s Day cards and candy to give to the other kids at school (capitalism) and I was soooo excited to give one to my crush of the year and see if the Valentine they gave me was the best of the 30 pack they bought (romantic love) – but the majority of my day was spent celebrating and savoring and giggling with my loved ones.

That tradition has carried itself forward as I’ve gotten older and looked for opportunities to celebrate my friends and family, and they’ve looked for ways to show me love in return. It always touches me to see the people I love most make an effort to give of themselves on Valentine’s Day, making sure that the most special things and places and people in their lives aren’t taken for granted. Over the years, these people have shown me they care through Galentine’s parties, sweet texts, handmade cards, hugs, flowers, and more.

I often hear the argument that Valentine’s Day isn’t a big deal because we can show our love for others on any day of the year. And while it’s true that we aren’t limited to any one day to unleash the power of our love into the world, I reject the notion that setting a day apart to celebrate something we have access to every day makes the day itself meaningless. In fact, in today’s world I think we should all be grateful for one more day in our calendars set apart to remind us of what matters most – love. To celebrate the relationships we’ve been given, be thankful that we’re not alone, and resolve to be even better about valuing those connections in the year ahead.

So, without any further ado – here are some people and things I’m really loving lately.

– I love my apartment. The first place Noah and I ever lived in was full of unique challenges (iykyk), so when we moved here and settled in it felt like our real first place. It feels like a home we’ve built together. The feelings of peace and safety I have here are so, so special to me.

– I love inviting loved ones into my space. When I moved into my first apartment in college, there was nothing I loved more than knowing that I could always bring my friends and family back someplace warm and calm and inviting to spend time together. Elite #4 felt like home because it was a gathering place for all the people who were home for me. I feel that same way about my apartment now – we’ve finally figured out how to fit all our furniture in here so people can come and stay for a while and I’ve loved seeing our home become another gathering place.

– The street behind our apartment has become such a haven for me. For whatever reason, no one’s ever walking or driving down it, so I love to take afternoon strolls and enjoy the views. I must have walked down and back on that same street 50 times over by now, and it still hasn’t gotten old.

– I love the connection I have to this area of the world, to the nature around me. The Nordic part of my genetic makeup takes a big sigh of relief whenever I come back here, to the forest and lakes and rivers that felt like home to me even before my family moved here ten years ago. Noah and I have such calming views of tall, tall pine trees outside our apartment windows. When we first moved in, I just sat and read in front of the window in our room and let their resolute energy pour into me. No matter where I go after this chapter of our lives, this corner of the U.S. will always feel like home.

– I love this lady. It’s been such a blessing to live where she is and be reminded in all the best ways how similar our brains are. She just gets me. I didn’t realize that I could still feel as nurtured as I did in my childhood as I do right now, in my mid twenties, by my mom. Discovering that truth has taught me about the strength and lasting nature of the bond between a mother and child in a whole new way.

– It makes me laugh to see TikToks about what it’s like to have a sister, or how people with sisters are elite, because I’ve never known any other way. Just as living close to my mom again after five years has brought a new depth to my understanding of something true, I’ve come to know in a brand new way what incredible people my siblings are. Spending time with them has offered me glimpses of the leaders, caretakers, and spiritual giants that they are becoming. I’ve also been surprised to discover that there were some parts of myself that still hadn’t been shared with them – and it’s been a homecoming to see them accept and love those pieces of me they didn’t know before.

– And, of course. This man.

Noah surprises me every day with his steadfastness, devotion, tenderness, and confidence: in me, in his love, and in the values he lives by. He helps me to rest – to set down my goals and my burdens and my worries and breathe, sleep, eat, and exercise until I’ve recharged enough to pick them back up. He’s so invested in listening to what I have to say that he asks me, of his own accord, what I dreamed about every morning, then proceeds to listen to the entire crazy rambling plotline and ask me follow-up questions. Occasionally, he even apologizes for things that the dream version of himself did, lol. He’s so trustworthy that my dog who’s notorious for hating men took to him on the first day he met her. On our first Valentine’s Day together, I gifted him a set of matching sweatshirts for him and me to wear – and ever since, he’s made it a point to surprise me with matching clothes on special occasions. This year, he suggested we wear matching shirts for Valentine’s Day, so we wore Lilo and Stitch themed shirts out on the town for our date night.

I think I’ll always be a little bit afraid that our time together will be cut short – that we won’t get to spend all the Valentine’s Days together that I try and let myself plan for – because of my traumatic backstory lol. But I try and remind myself to be grateful, that the time we have together is worth it. He’s changed my life forever.

Happy belated Valentine’s Day, goons. I love you.